fictionc

The Hanson clan descended upon Isaac's house like a plague of locusts on a cornfield. Taylor and his wife Christie arrived first, but a bit later than Isaac had predicted because Taylor had actually gone the speed limit. "I threatened to have the baby in the car on the interstate if he drove like a maniac," Christie said, scowling at her husband. Taylor laughed nervously and his wife smiled at him, hugging him around the neck. They were all laughing over this and taking off jackets and stowing bags when the other group of Hansons pulled up.

The three eldest Hanson men stood on the front porch, watching their siblings struggling to liberate themselves and their belongings from the dreaded minivan. Since Isaac, Taylor and Zac had moved out, and no longer needed their entire family to go on tour with them, the remaining Hansons didn't do much traveling. When they did, the kids tended to complain about it like normal kids. They were all doing this now, loudly. Their baby sister, Zoe, smiled and waved at them with one hand while smacking their brother Mackenzie in the back of the head with the other. Their other sisters, Jessica and Avery, were arguing over who's headphones were whose and whining about having to sit next to each other for five hours. A tall, dark-headed boy ("That's Jessica's boyfriend," Taylor explained to Isaac) unfolded himself from the van, wearing a dazed expression that could only come from being trapped with a group of Hansons for three days.

"I thought they were sleeping in," Isaac said to Taylor

Taylor shrugged. "You know Dad. He said they could all sleep in the van for all he cared."

Isaac grinned, and went out to greet them. Let the chaos begin.

Zac had wanted noise and he got it. Did I make this much noise when I was a kid? He laughed to himself. Yeah, I did. All by myself, and probably more. Not surprisingly, Andrew woke up soon after everyone arrived, and he was in a very good mood. Most babies Zac had been around in his life tended to freak out when there was a lot of noise or a lot of people. With this family, you get both. Two-for-one special on pandemonium, aisle twelve.

There was a lot of baby-passing and cooing. Andrew took to it like a true Hanson, and seemed to actually enjoy the attention. He's either going to be in show business or politics, Zac thought with a wry smile.

"Look how big he's gotten!"

"Look at those curls, Walker! Isn't he just like Isaac when he was a baby?"

"God, you guys, what are you feeding him? He weighs a ton!"

"Zoe, if you keep swinging him around like that, he's gonna puke all over you."

"Aww, he's got cute itty bitty dimples, yes he does!"

And so on. Zac thought he was going to be the one puking after a while. There was also the required gushing over Christie's pregnant stomach by the female Hansons. Then everything settled into a nice dull roar all over the house.

Zac's mood lifted a little. He made the rounds quickly and caught up with his younger siblings - he hadn't seen them in about six months but it seemed like years. They'd all grown up so much; they hardly seemed like the same people.

He also knew that he couldn't avoid his mom forever, so he decided to go on and get it over with. He'd gotten by Isaac, and felt fairly confident that he could get by her, too. He had noticed her watching him with that mother-hen look, running through her mental checklist of him. Hair? Still too long but clean... Stomach? Appears to be eating... Eyes? Hmm, some dark circles there... He knew she had been worried about him leaving home, and even though it had been almost a year now, she obviously still was. The fact that he was near Isaac had consoled her a bit, but she still had to make sure her baby was okay. Inside, Zac squirmed a little. He hated it when his mother fussed over him and treated him like he was still ten years old.

He found his parents sitting at the island in the kitchen with Isaac, drinking coffee. He pulled up a stool. His mother had just started to ask him about his apartment, a fairly easy topic, when the phone rang.

"Hey, you guys, hold it down!" Isaac hollered around the door into the living room. No one paid any attention, which didn't surprise him. He picked up the phone and put his hand over his other ear in a futile attempt to muffle the noise around him.

"Hello? Oh, hi! Yeah, he's here, hold on a sec." Isaac put his hand over the mouthpiece. "ZAC!" he yelled into the living room.

"Geez, Ike, I'm right here, are you blind?" Zac said from behind him, reaching for the phone. Saved by the bell, he thought with a sigh of relief.

Isaac kept hold of the phone and shook his head. "You probably want to take this on the upstairs phone." He gestured with his head and grinned.

Zac got the hint. "Thanks!" He vaulted up the stairs, taking three at a time, and ran down the hall into the guest room.

The only time Zac was glad to be alone at his horribly quiet apartment, besides when he was sleeping, was on Wednesday nights. That was when he talked to his friend Jillian. He had wondered if she might try to call him today, even though it wasn't Wednesday. He closed the door and picked up the extension. "I got it, Ike," he said into the receiver. Isaac clicked off. Zac sprawled out on the bed.

"Happy birthday, Zac!" It was Jillian. The sound of her voice made him happy instantly.

"So how's it going? Did your family invade yet?"

He laughed. "Oh, yeah, in a big way. It's noisy downstairs. I'm surprised you can't hear it."

"And how are you doing?" She knew how he'd been feeling lately. They had talked about it at length again last week.

"Really?" she asked with a hint of skepticism.

Zac wanted to discuss this with her, just as much as he did not want to discuss it with his brother. That was the great thing about Jillian - he told her anything and everything and had no problem with doing it. She was a great listener, and rarely offered advice unless asked.

"Yeah. I like having everyone around. It's like, I don't feel quite as..." He paused, looking for the right word to describe how he was feeling. "...lost." He could almost see her nodding her head slowly. Give her an example, he thought, searching through the rooms of his brain where he kept odd bits of information for moments like this. Ah ha! That's it. "It's kind of like, well, do you remember that scene in 'Gone With the Wind' where Scarlett keeps having that nightmare? Where she's running down the sidewalk in the dark?"

"I didn't realize you'd seen that movie," she teased. "Doesn't seem like your type."

"I watch lots of movies," he said defensively.

Jillian laughed. "Yes, I know which part you're talking about."

"I know what your problem is, then."

"You're secretly in love with Clark Gable."

Zac rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically. "Why I ever tell you anything is beyond me sometimes."

Jillian laughed again. "It's because I have a sexy voice."

"True." That was a running joke they had. She hated the way her voice sounded. She thought it was too low. Zac thought she sounded a bit like Kathleen Turner, but not quite that deep.

There was a momentary lapse in the conversation then, a warm silence that was comforting to Zac, in a strange way, despite his recent need for noise. He thought briefly about what he'd just told Jillian before they started joking around. It didn't quite make sense to him totally - how could he feel lost when he was so damned busy all the time? He hardly left himself time to eat, these days. The running analogy was as close as he could get to his problem: he was either running from something, or running to something, but it was hard for him to decide which. Over the last year part of it had become clear, but it was not something he could discuss, even with her.

"So...do you want your birthday present?" Jillian said suddenly, changing the subject.

"You got me a present?"

"Of course I did. Kind of."

He grinned. "What do you mean, kind of? How do you kind of buy something?"

"I never said anything about buying something."

"Well, what is it then?"

Zac rolled his eyes again. Jillian liked surprises a lot more than he did, and by the sound of her schoolgirl giggle, she really liked this one. Then he became aware, for the first time, of a lot of commotion in the background on her end of the phone. He recognized that sound - he'd heard it often in his life.

"Hey, you're at the airport!"

She laughed. "Oh, you're a quick one, Zac Hanson."

"Where are you going this time?" She worked for a fashion magazine in New York, and was always taking trips. But the first thing he thought after he asked her that was Oh, man, could she be coming here?

Zac and Jillian talked on the phone at least once a week, and had done that since they first met, almost three years ago. But he hadn't
seen her since then, either. He got slightly panicked. For a second, he couldn't breathe. Why are you nervous, you weenie? It's just Jillian, geez. Plus she's probably off to Europe or something anyway. He smacked himself in the face a couple of times.

"Zac? Zac! Are you still there?" He was suddenly aware of her voice coming through the phone at him.

"Yeah," he croaked. He tried to clear his throat.

"Did you hear what I said?"

"Um, no, sorry, the, um, line had some static or something," he lied. His palms were sweaty. He wedged the phone under his chin and wiped his hands on his pant legs.

"Oh, is that what that was? It sounded like you were smacking yourself in the face again." Zac winced. Wow. She really knows me. "What I said was, I'm at LaGuardia now, but I'll be in LA this evening. I have some research I have to do tomorrow morning, and a short meeting with the West coast editor, but I'm free after that and I thought maybe I would fly up there in the afternoon. Would that be an okay present?"

She is coming here! Zac bounced up off the bed where he had been laying and did a little dance, mouthing yes yes yes! silently. Anyone who had seen him would have wet his or her pants laughing.

A bunch of different emotions went through him all at the same time. He was nervous about actually seeing her, but also elated. He felt sick to his stomach, he wanted to turn cartwheels, he wanted to cry and he wanted to sing. Mostly he just wanted to sit down, so he did.
She's coming to see me!

"I know this is really short notice, and with your family all there..." she continued, quieter now.

She's nervous too. I can hear it in her voice. Zac relaxed again.

"Nah. Don't worry about it. And it's a great birthday present."

She laughed. "Oh, there's something else too, but it will have to wait until I see you."

"You're full of mystery today, you know?"

"Sorry. I'll explain everything tomorrow. Listen, Zac, I gotta go. I heard them call my flight. Do you have some paper? I'll give you the flight info for tomorrow."

Zac searched furiously for paper, but all he could find was a box of Kleenex and a fat orange crayon that had obviously been gnawed on. Is this what happens when you have kids? he thought. Reduced to writing on tissues? He wrote down the numbers the best he could. Then he dropped his voice into James Bond mode and joked, "But how will I know you?"

"You won't," Jillian laughed. "I'll find you."

"Um, see you tomorrow."

"Happy birthday, Zac. Give little Andrew a kiss for me, ok?"

"OK. Bye, Jillian. Have a safe flight."

"Bye." Then she was gone.

But she'll be here tomorrow. Tomorrow afternoon. To see me. I get to see her. He grinned and repeated his little skipping dance as he hung up the phone. This is absolutely great! And then suddenly he came crashing down as quickly as he had inflated. This meant that he was going to have to face the thing that was really bothering him.

A third thought came to him, pushing away the unpleasantness of the last one. "Ack, I gotta clean my apartment!" he said aloud. Grimacing, he left the guest room and headed for the stairs.



		Chapter Two

The Hanson clan descended upon Isaac's house like a plague of locusts on a cornfield. Taylor and his wife Christie arrived first, but a bit later than Isaac had predicted because Taylor had actually gone the speed limit. "I threatened to have the baby in the car on the interstate if he drove like a maniac," Christie said, scowling at her husband. Taylor laughed nervously and his wife smiled at him, hugging him around the neck. They were all laughing over this and taking off jackets and stowing bags when the other group of Hansons pulled up. The three eldest Hanson men stood on the front porch, watching their siblings struggling to liberate themselves and their belongings from the dreaded minivan. Since Isaac, Taylor and Zac had moved out, and no longer needed their entire family to go on tour with them, the remaining Hansons didn't do much traveling. When they did, the kids tended to complain about it like normal kids. They were all doing this now, loudly. Their baby sister, Zoe, smiled and waved at them with one hand while smacking their brother Mackenzie in the back of the head with the other. Their other sisters, Jessica and Avery, were arguing over who's headphones were whose and whining about having to sit next to each other for five hours. A tall, dark-headed boy ("That's Jessica's boyfriend," Taylor explained to Isaac) unfolded himself from the van, wearing a dazed expression that could only come from being trapped with a group of Hansons for three days. "I thought they were sleeping in," Isaac said to Taylor Taylor shrugged. "You know Dad. He said they could all sleep in the van for all he cared." Isaac grinned, and went out to greet them. Let the chaos begin. Zac had wanted noise and he got it. Did I make this much noise when I was a kid? He laughed to himself. Yeah, I did. All by myself, and probably more. Not surprisingly, Andrew woke up soon after everyone arrived, and he was in a very good mood. Most babies Zac had been around in his life tended to freak out when there was a lot of noise or a lot of people. With this family, you get both. Two-for-one special on pandemonium, aisle twelve. There was a lot of baby-passing and cooing. Andrew took to it like a true Hanson, and seemed to actually enjoy the attention. He's either going to be in show business or politics, Zac thought with a wry smile. "Look how big he's gotten!" "Look at those curls, Walker! Isn't he just like Isaac when he was a baby?" "God, you guys, what are you feeding him? He weighs a ton!" "Zoe, if you keep swinging him around like that, he's gonna puke all over you." "Shut up, Mackie." "Aww, he's got cute itty bitty dimples, yes he does!" And so on. Zac thought he was going to be the one puking after a while. There was also the required gushing over Christie's pregnant stomach by the female Hansons. Then everything settled into a nice dull roar all over the house. Zac's mood lifted a little. He made the rounds quickly and caught up with his younger siblings - he hadn't seen them in about six months but it seemed like years. They'd all grown up so much; they hardly seemed like the same people. He also knew that he couldn't avoid his mom forever, so he decided to go on and get it over with. He'd gotten by Isaac, and felt fairly confident that he could get by her, too. He had noticed her watching him with that mother-hen look, running through her mental checklist of him. Hair? Still too long but clean... Stomach? Appears to be eating... Eyes? Hmm, some dark circles there... He knew she had been worried about him leaving home, and even though it had been almost a year now, she obviously still was. The fact that he was near Isaac had consoled her a bit, but she still had to make sure her baby was okay. Inside, Zac squirmed a little. He hated it when his mother fussed over him and treated him like he was still ten years old. He found his parents sitting at the island in the kitchen with Isaac, drinking coffee. He pulled up a stool. His mother had just started to ask him about his apartment, a fairly easy topic, when the phone rang. "Hey, you guys, hold it down!" Isaac hollered around the door into the living room. No one paid any attention, which didn't surprise him. He picked up the phone and put his hand over his other ear in a futile attempt to muffle the noise around him. "Hello? Oh, hi! Yeah, he's here, hold on a sec." Isaac put his hand over the mouthpiece. "ZAC!" he yelled into the living room. "Geez, Ike, I'm right here, are you blind?" Zac said from behind him, reaching for the phone. Saved by the bell, he thought with a sigh of relief. Isaac kept hold of the phone and shook his head. "You probably want to take this on the upstairs phone." He gestured with his head and grinned. Zac got the hint. "Thanks!" He vaulted up the stairs, taking three at a time, and ran down the hall into the guest room. The only time Zac was glad to be alone at his horribly quiet apartment, besides when he was sleeping, was on Wednesday nights. That was when he talked to his friend Jillian. He had wondered if she might try to call him today, even though it wasn't Wednesday. He closed the door and picked up the extension. "I got it, Ike," he said into the receiver. Isaac clicked off. Zac sprawled out on the bed. "Hello?" "Happy birthday, Zac!" It was Jillian. The sound of her voice made him happy instantly. "Thanks." "So how's it going? Did your family invade yet?" He laughed. "Oh, yeah, in a big way. It's noisy downstairs. I'm surprised you can't hear it." "And how are you doing?" She knew how he'd been feeling lately. They had talked about it at length again last week. "Better now." "Really?" she asked with a hint of skepticism. Zac wanted to discuss this with her, just as much as he did not want to discuss it with his brother. That was the great thing about Jillian - he told her anything and everything and had no problem with doing it. She was a great listener, and rarely offered advice unless asked. "Yeah. I like having everyone around. It's like, I don't feel quite as..." He paused, looking for the right word to describe how he was feeling. "...lost." He could almost see her nodding her head slowly. Give her an example, he thought, searching through the rooms of his brain where he kept odd bits of information for moments like this. Ah ha! That's it. "It's kind of like, well, do you remember that scene in 'Gone With the Wind' where Scarlett keeps having that nightmare? Where she's running down the sidewalk in the dark?" "I didn't realize you'd seen that movie," she teased. "Doesn't seem like your type." "I watch lots of movies," he said defensively. Jillian laughed. "Yes, I know which part you're talking about." "I feel like that." "I know what your problem is, then." "Oh, yeah? "You're secretly in love with Clark Gable." Zac rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically. "Why I ever tell you anything is beyond me sometimes." Jillian laughed again. "It's because I have a sexy voice." "True." That was a running joke they had. She hated the way her voice sounded. She thought it was too low. Zac thought she sounded a bit like Kathleen Turner, but not quite that deep. There was a momentary lapse in the conversation then, a warm silence that was comforting to Zac, in a strange way, despite his recent need for noise. He thought briefly about what he'd just told Jillian before they started joking around. It didn't quite make sense to him totally - how could he feel lost when he was so damned busy all the time? He hardly left himself time to eat, these days. The running analogy was as close as he could get to his problem: he was either running from something, or running to something, but it was hard for him to decide which. Over the last year part of it had become clear, but it was not something he could discuss, even with her. "So...do you want your birthday present?" Jillian said suddenly, changing the subject. "You got me a present?" "Of course I did. Kind of." He grinned. "What do you mean, kind of? How do you kind of buy something?" "I never said anything about buying something." "Well, what is it then?" "Guess." Zac rolled his eyes again. Jillian liked surprises a lot more than he did, and by the sound of her schoolgirl giggle, she really liked this one. Then he became aware, for the first time, of a lot of commotion in the background on her end of the phone. He recognized that sound - he'd heard it often in his life. "Hey, you're at the airport!" She laughed. "Oh, you're a quick one, Zac Hanson." "Where are you going this time?" She worked for a fashion magazine in New York, and was always taking trips. But the first thing he thought after he asked her that was Oh, man, could she be coming here? Zac and Jillian talked on the phone at least once a week, and had done that since they first met, almost three years ago. But he hadn't seen her since then, either. He got slightly panicked. For a second, he couldn't breathe. Why are you nervous, you weenie? It's just Jillian, geez. Plus she's probably off to Europe or something anyway. He smacked himself in the face a couple of times. "Zac? Zac! Are you still there?" He was suddenly aware of her voice coming through the phone at him. "Yeah," he croaked. He tried to clear his throat. "Did you hear what I said?" "Um, no, sorry, the, um, line had some static or something," he lied. His palms were sweaty. He wedged the phone under his chin and wiped his hands on his pant legs. "Oh, is that what that was? It sounded like you were smacking yourself in the face again." Zac winced. Wow. She really knows me. "What I said was, I'm at LaGuardia now, but I'll be in LA this evening. I have some research I have to do tomorrow morning, and a short meeting with the West coast editor, but I'm free after that and I thought maybe I would fly up there in the afternoon. Would that be an okay present?" She is coming here! Zac bounced up off the bed where he had been laying and did a little dance, mouthing yes yes yes! silently. Anyone who had seen him would have wet his or her pants laughing. A bunch of different emotions went through him all at the same time. He was nervous about actually seeing her, but also elated. He felt sick to his stomach, he wanted to turn cartwheels, he wanted to cry and he wanted to sing. Mostly he just wanted to sit down, so he did. She's coming to see me! "I know this is really short notice, and with your family all there..." she continued, quieter now. She's nervous too. I can hear it in her voice. Zac relaxed again. "Nah. Don't worry about it. And it's a great birthday present." She laughed. "Oh, there's something else too, but it will have to wait until I see you." "You're full of mystery today, you know?" "Sorry. I'll explain everything tomorrow. Listen, Zac, I gotta go. I heard them call my flight. Do you have some paper? I'll give you the flight info for tomorrow." Zac searched furiously for paper, but all he could find was a box of Kleenex and a fat orange crayon that had obviously been gnawed on. Is this what happens when you have kids? he thought. Reduced to writing on tissues? He wrote down the numbers the best he could. Then he dropped his voice into James Bond mode and joked, "But how will I know you?" "You won't," Jillian laughed. "I'll find you." "Jillian?" "Yeah, Zac?" "Um, see you tomorrow." "Happy birthday, Zac. Give little Andrew a kiss for me, ok?" "OK. Bye, Jillian. Have a safe flight." "Bye." Then she was gone. But she'll be here tomorrow. Tomorrow afternoon. To see me. I get to see her. He grinned and repeated his little skipping dance as he hung up the phone. This is absolutely great! And then suddenly he came crashing down as quickly as he had inflated. This meant that he was going to have to face the thing that was really bothering him. A third thought came to him, pushing away the unpleasantness of the last one. "Ack, I gotta clean my apartment!" he said aloud. Grimacing, he left the guest room and headed for the stairs.

	Chapter Three Lost and Found Index Fiction Adrift